There is madness inside all of us.

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There was a time where such madness
was passed into my conscious attention
Ungated
Again and Again
a Torrent
Besieged by such thoughts images and urges
Bathed in them

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Until I knew nothing
Until I couldn't argue anymore
Until all I could say was, "I don't know."

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And when I knew I didn't know,
And let that be,
The walls began to restore.
The images were there, but half there.
The madness began to be below the surface —

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It's still there.
My brain will likely boil again.
Who knows how?
Who knows what theme?

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All I know is Now.

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A lofty day
of clouds and breeze
and blossoms on the apple trees;
Errands bring me out.

Judge me as you will.
May each blemish be overexposed
and outlined in deep shadow.
In the clarity of your clear blue sky
may I be the montster.
May you be bright and sure.

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But—there is wisdom in softness.
And maybe later I could see you,
in hues of gold and blue,
in midtomes,
and I'll tell you:
each nuance I see
is beautiful.

Dysregulated today
with the rearing of my PDA
and too many demands
and changes in plans
a meltdown may be on the way.

You don't have to make sense
You don't have to continue this way
You don't have to

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It's okay to be disliked
It's okay to have dark thoughts
It's okay to

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Sometimes you need sustenance
Sometimes you need beauty
Sometimes you need rest
Sometimes you need

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